My issues run a little deeper. In March, I will celebrate my one year Blog-versary. I am excited about the prospect of celebrating such an accomplishment. But truthfully, I am plagued with thoughts of frustration this morning. Crazy right?! Let me whine a moment explain why. I can't seem to recon my thoughts about "why" I am doing this with what I feel should be the goals based on the time I invest in The Homeless Finch. Plus, the artist inside me is disappointed in myself for not just understanding this pursuit as I should be...as a road traveled that continues to inform my work, my life and fuels my days with purpose...with accountability. Without the blog, I am sure that I would be so back on that road I was on where I couldn't seem to jump start myself. The 'pressure' of reporting in has be a huge motivator for me and this was something that I needed dearly.
Do you ever have days, weeks, months like this? Do you ever wonder why you do what you do? Do you ever question your motivations? If you blog, do you ever get down on yourself when you see other blogs grow to huge numbers, while you grind it out on the ground everyday, every week only adding a few followers every few weeks? When you link your posts to parties, are you like me so tired that you can hardly pull off this simple task without straining your tired yes to see how your thumbnail looks on that linky list? Do you, or for that matter should I, care about followers and stats and comments and features?
It might be re-evaluation time. Don't ya think?!! Do you think about these things too? Let me know your thoughts. I'm waiting right here in my dreary little rain puddle, wondering if someone out there feels my soggy little pain. - If I hadn't made the commitment to never use text style writing my on my blog an LOL would have been inserted right here because sometimes....you just gotta laugh and say, Rain rain go away come again another day...
Photos taken this morning just outside my studio door.
-The End-
It's cyclical! For me too. If I strain to remember I went through a period much like this last year at the same time. It could be the weather slowing my work down, but I am able to move some operations inside. I just seem to dilly dally and drag my feet through projects, and blogging. I'll get it back. I always do. So will you I suspect! Maybe it's our hibernation, our time to refill ourselves, our time to look for more out there. Maybe we'll find something new that inspires us, maybe it will have been something we set aside for a time that looks fresh again. The rain will move on, my snow will melt, the sun will be bright and shining again soon! Just know you aren't the only one who is having a bit of a slump.
ReplyDeletei went through a period like this back in october/november- it sucked! but with us creative types i think it jus happens that way.... the burst of energy will one day come back and you will be alive with ideas! so know that even though it stinks now, it's a-coming!
ReplyDeleteI imagine this melancholy - for lack of a better word - is caused from a combination of things. You ran 2 blog series, one at Christmas and now Valentine's Day. The weather probably isn't helping you. Add to that the daily stresses of being a wife and mom ~ Goodness, it's amazing you're accomplishing as much as you. You have so much creativity and talent. Just hang on and I think all will be okay.
ReplyDeleteI think we all have our moments of doubt. For me, I have to remember that blogging is a creative outlet. I really don't want the pressure of thousands of followers (like I need to worry aobout that!) and trying to come up with bigger and better projects to keep my followers happy.
ReplyDeleteAnd I think it's the rain. Like the song line, "Rainy days and Mondays always get me down."
The sun will come out tomorrow.....
You are a creative soul Lesley. That's why you are going through this. It's the artist in you. I do it all the time. When it happens to me, I just stop thinking. Yep, turn down the volume, and watch a superhero movie or something.
ReplyDeleteI think you are amazing. How many times have you been featured? I remember you going through this before. You'll be fine. You're not alone by any means. You will always have a cheerleader in me.
I wonder this a lot. Why AM I doing this? I don't have any specific goals or imagined outcomes. Most of the time I'm okay with that - I'm enjoying the people I've "met" through blogging, Having a place to show my stuff keeps me working. If I had a clear intention (like making a living as an artist or getting my stuff published) I'd probably be totally depressed all the time. But I can get into that funk that says "if you're not going to sell anything, or write anything, or teach anything, then what's the point? why bother? you need to have vision and ambition!". Of course my word of the year is "trust" for good reason. I'm not good at trust. I get all up in my head about stuff all the time. So I'm practicing trusting the journey and the process and trusting that i will get what I need from it. So now I"m totally rambling, but I hope you get your mojo back soon!
ReplyDeleteI've been following your blog for quite some time, and although I don't know if I've left a comment before, I do really appreciate your blog and the work you do here. Only you can figure out why you are doing this, but you probably have a reason, having slogged it out for this long!
ReplyDeleteI too have a blog, only mine is about my music studio, and I have never had a comment! It's very lonely, and hard to write for "nobody". The comment above, about trust, is very apropos for me today.
There's also the question of balance. What is a good balance in your life? Because if it swings too much in any direction you can get out of whack and depressed. Maybe your balance needs adjusting.
So cheers! It's clear from all your comments that there's a lot of love out here for that little homeless finch! I hope you can find it again in yourself.
I definitely think through some of these things. I think winter sucks the creativity out of me! I started blogging as a way to share my projects with people who cared...sometimes my family doesn't really ;-) But somehow then I feel OBLIGATED to create, and pressure to be amazing! Ugh. Sometimes I just want to walk away from it all. I've thought about 'monetizing' my blog, even to the point of signing up with a few services--but then I've never gone past that point, because I don't want to be forced into making daily posts, or posting things just as filler. I guess what I'm trying to say is--you're not alone (obviously). We're all struggling to find balance!
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